Breaking the Cycle of Revenge Bedtime Procrastination
Let’s be honest. Sometimes we stay up way past when our body says, "Please, let me rest."
Not because we don’t value sleep, but because the day didn’t leave room for us. We’re helpers, parents, caregivers, professionals. By the time the world quiets down, we’re still standing, hungry for a little freedom.
There’s a name for this pattern. It’s called revenge bedtime procrastination. If that phrase made you nod, you’re not alone.
What is Revenge Bedtime Procrastination?
This behavior was first studied in 2014, but it really took off globally when journalist Daphne K. Lee tweeted about it in 2020. She captured a familiar feeling: when people, especially those with rigid and demanding daytime schedules, stay up late to reclaim time for themselves, even though it means sacrificing sleep.
This isn’t just any late night. Researchers say it meets three criteria:
It reduces total sleep time.
There’s no external reason like illness or an emergency for the delay.
We know it’s bad for us but do it anyway.
It’s a quiet rebellion against a day that never really felt like yours.
Who Does This?
Revenge bedtime procrastination tends to show up in:
People with stressful, time-demanding jobs
Parents who crave peace after the kids go to bed
Students balancing too much on too little time
Anyone whose daytime hours feel controlled by others
Women and students, in particular, are more susceptible. Overlapping pressures and societal expectations pile up. The COVID-19 pandemic didn’t help either. It blurred work-life boundaries and kept us staring at screens even more.
What Does It Look Like?
It looks like scrolling endlessly on social media. Watching "just one more" episode. Online shopping. Diving into a good book. These activities aren’t bad in themselves, but when they regularly steal hours from sleep, they start to wear us down.
Why It Matters
Sleep isn’t just rest. Chronic sleep deprivation is linked to:
Increased anxiety and depression
Poor concentration and memory
Cardiovascular risks
Reduced immune function
For helpers, running on empty isn’t a badge of honor. It’s a fast track to burnout.
How to Reclaim Your Nights Without Revenge
If your nights feel like the only time you get to yourself, here are research-backed ways to reset:
Prioritize Sleep: Treat it like any other critical health habit.
Create a Nighttime Routine: Start winding down 30 to 60 minutes before bed.
Block Electronics: Screen light messes with sleep cycles. Try reading a physical book or journaling instead.
Schedule Personal Time During the Day: Even 20 to 30 minutes can take the pressure off your nights.
Audit Your Day: Are there obligations that could be renegotiated? Are there places you can say no?
Create a Sleep-Friendly Space: Cool, dark, and quiet. Your bedroom should feel like a retreat, not a command center.
Reflect and Apply
What are you reclaiming at night that you feel you can’t have during the day?
What tiny pockets of joy or rest could you build into your daytime schedule?
How do you want to feel when you wake up?
A Final Thought
Helpers don’t need another lecture about getting more sleep. We need practical ways to feel human before the sun sets. By designing days with more satisfaction and nights with more rest, we can show up to help others without quietly eroding ourselves.
You deserve mornings that don’t feel like a punishment for the night before.
