Practical Self-Care: How Helpers Really Recharge

Let’s start with a confession: most self-care advice isn’t written with helpers in mind.

It’s written for people who can press pause. For people with fewer obligations, less emotional residue, and more flexible lunch breaks. You know, mythical people.

But if you’re reading this, you’re likely someone who can’t just check out. You’ve got responsibilities, people depending on you, and a schedule that doesn’t exactly scream “spa day.” So let’s talk about a different kind of rest. One that doesn’t require disappearing from your life to feel human again.

We call it active rest. And it might just be the shortcut you’ve been needing.

What Is Active Rest?

Let’s get this out of the way: not all rest looks like stillness.

Rest is anything that gives back more energy than it takes. Sometimes that’s sleep or silence. Other times, it’s a walk, a song, or a moment of remembering who you are outside the work.

There are two types of rest we’ll focus on:

Passive Rest

This is the classic version—laying down, napping, zoning out to a familiar show, sitting in the sun. It helps your body and brain power down, especially when you’re overstimulated or just plain fried. Helpers need this, too—but it’s not the whole picture.

Active Rest

This is rest that moves. It gently engages your body or mind to help release stress, reset your nervous system, and bring you back to center. Think stretching while music plays, watering your plants, journaling for five minutes, or doodling while your tea brews.

The best part? It works even when you only have five minutes. And it’s especially helpful for helpers who spend their days in “on mode”—alert, responsive, and often emotionally loaded.

Finding Your Rest Type

Not everyone recharges the same way. Some folks need silence. Others need rhythm. Some feel restored by beauty or movement or acts of kindness. There’s no one-size-fits-all. But the key is to start noticing:

• What gives you energy back?

• What leaves you feeling more like yourself?

• What small things have helped you breathe easier—even for a minute?

A good rule of thumb: if it helps you exhale, it counts.

Everyday Self-Care for Real-World Helpers

Here are four strategies that don’t require apps, retreats, or hours of spare time:

1. Second Conversations

Sometimes after a heavy moment, we don’t get to say what we really feel. That doesn’t mean our body didn’t hold it. Try this: name what you wish you could’ve said.

• “That was hard.”

• “I did my best.”

• “That’s going to stay with me.”
  This helps release emotional residue instead of carrying it home.

2. The Smallest Aligned Action

When you feel frozen, ask: What’s the smallest thing I can do right now that aligns with who I want to be?
Maybe it’s closing one tab. Taking one breath. Saying no without apologizing. Tiny steps count. They build momentum.

3. Mirror the Good

Our brains are wired to remember the hard parts. But you can train yours to notice the quiet wins, too.

• “I showed up.”

• “They felt heard.”

• “I kept my cool.”
  Name it. Let it stick. You deserve to see your impact, not just your effort.

4. Commute Reframe

If you drive, ride, or walk to and from work, that’s a built-in ritual. Use it. Say out loud: “I’m off duty now.” Listen to something grounding. Record a voice note to your future self. Let your nervous system know it’s safe to shift gears.

Reflection: Take What You Need

Before you rush back into the thick of things, try this:

What’s one small shift you’ll try this week to care for yourself more intentionally?

• Maybe you’ll stretch before opening your laptop.

• Maybe you’ll protect your lunch like it’s a real meeting.

• Maybe you’ll stop apologizing for needing five minutes to breathe.

Write it down. Say it out loud. Share it with a friend. Self-care gets stronger when we stop keeping it private.

You don’t need a new identity. Just a new rhythm. One that includes you.

Keep Going

This isn’t about perfection. It’s about staying in the game—not just physically, but with your heart intact. Helpers burn out not because they don’t care, but because they do. That means your rest is not a luxury. It’s a requirement.

And now, you’ve got a few more tools in your pocket to make that real.

You’re not alone. Let’s keep building a culture of care that includes the people who do the caring.